To write this second Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) blog, I reviewed the first blog and realized it was my typical technical approach to problem solving based on 40 years in the computer industry. For the past 10 years, I have been a leadership consultant strongly teaching that most difficult problems are adaptive, i.e. they deal with people and their interactions. This website, Know Your Audience, and its Platinum Rule theme and related Platinum Communications content all focus on people/adaptive problems.
ACEs is an adaptive problem, so I reflected on how that influences what I write next. Convincing people to take ACEs seriously, requires they take me seriously. One method is to be vulnerable and share my personal life, so readers can know me.
What does Larry Walker know about ACEs? Zero. Until I heard Nadine Burke Harris speak, I knew nothing about ACEs. Zero. I now know something, but only what I read. How do I feel about ACEs? Personally, I am outraged that a public epidemic is raging, and people in power are not acting. Have I ‘experienced’ an ACEs event? No. I have now; however, met and talked with people who have – and – their life perspective is foreign to me.
I experienced a different childhood than those impacted by ACEs. My family history is this.
Grandpa Walker, Leonard, owned 40 acres of woods close to International Falls, Minnesota. Since farming in northern Minnesota is a no-win proposition, he worked in the paper mill as did many towns people. As his children grew up, he broke up his farm, giving land to each as they married and started families. When my parents, Cy and Elnor, married, they received a couple acres for their first house. Side Note: they proceeded to build their first home for $92: a 4-room log cabin made with trees cut on the property and family building help.
Growing up, I lived next door to Grampa Leonard and Gramma Viva, Aunt Edna and Uncle Ted, Uncle Dick and Aunt Jean, and Uncle Kenny and Aunt Nettie. Uncle Cecil (orphan relative) and Aunt Chris built on an adjacent block, and Ted’s brother moved next door to Ted and Edna. The Briggs family home was adjacent to Grampa’s, and they were as close as family. A Brigg’s daughter married and moved into the neighborhood. My two older cousins did as well.
Among all these families (Walkers and Briggs), I was the only boy child. I remember forming ‘armies’ (all girls) and leading them around. If they would not mind, I threatened to go home. With a dozen homes and multiple acres of land plus unlimited woods just beyond, we had vistas for running, playing, exploring. If thirsty, just stop into the nearest house for a drink. If making too much noise, just move away from the houses.
I was always special growing up. Doing well in school earned praise. Mom supported me with ‘homework’. While not a great athlete, family was happy when I became the basketball team scorekeeper. Holidays and birthdays meant an extended family gathering with food, drinks, and stories galore.
Reflecting on this up-bringing, I cannot think of any trauma. Just the opposite; I may have created the first family trauma – being the first to leave town. This was even true for older cousins who married and moved into ‘Walker Row’.
Given this solid foundation, I knew that if I needed help, it was there. This confidence moved me fearlessly ahead in life.
This reflection reveals the chasm between me and those inflicted by ACEs. I must listen and avoid mapping my life experience to theirs. They have life paths very different from mine.
Together, we will merge perspectives to find common ground to make a difference. That is our intent.
