This level focuses on the need to know yourself before getting to know others. Knowing yourself requires self-reflection: your basic beliefs, your prejudices, and your assumptions about yourself, the world, and your immediate audience. Level 2 of the Platinum Communications pyramid has two components: Know Your Self and Develop Deep Self-Awareness.
Component 2: Know Your Self
To be genuine requires knowing what makes you tick internally and externally. Knowing what triggers your gratitude, anger, helpfulness, sadness, and responsiveness starts discovering the real, authentic YOU.
Defaults govern our behavior and differ by individual. Defaults are automatic, baseline behavior, and determine what you do when you don’t think about what you are doing. Defaults provide efficiency in things we do regularly. Defaults simplify information processing. Habits are defaults. Defaults can interfere with seeing things from new perspectives.
Our automatic word responses are defaults. When someone says, “Good morning,” a default might be, “What’s good about it?” or “Same to you.” When someone says, “Thank you,” a default might be, “No need to do that,” or “You’re welcome.’ Defaults are unexamined and seldom receive feedback.
Writing your name with the same hand is a default. Clasping your hands with one thumb over the other is a default. Folding your arms when feeling defensive is a default. For each of these movements force yourself to use the opposite of your default. Does this feel uncomfortable? Yes, AND you can do it.
Awareness of your defaults increases self-awareness. Explicitly knowing your defaults provides a possibility for changing behavior. Adjusting your personal defaults creates a shift in perspective that supports change. Being aware that others have different defaults helps us understand why others see things from differently than us. Discussing default differences is an objective way to reduce tension and conflict.
