In a recent meeting discussing ACEs, Adverse Childhood Experiences, it was stated that Veterans believe resilience is a reactive term, and they prefer agency as values related, more powerful and action oriented.
Bill Betzler responded with the following:
Who am I to argue with Veterans about agency vs resilience? I think resilience is defined too narrowly. I believe resilience is both an attitude & a spiritual practice. In my life resilience started out as a means to survive. I believe it was powered by something outside my self. I think of it as a gift like the ability to throw a football 100 yards. After the gift of life, my second gift was the iron resolve not to quit on myself melded with an unshakeable, unreasonable hope that tomorrow would be better.
Since Mike gave me that book on trauma 5 years ago; resilience has become a daily practice. It’s where I start from. It’s what I share with my homeless clients at the Dignity Center. I think that if you aren’t consciously aware of your mental toughness; every new life accident knocks you flat. It takes more time and effort to get back up on your feet. On the other hand, if you can bring to mind how you responded to the last catastrophe in your life; this one will only bring you to your knees. Responding to hard knocks “always” starts the same way: You gotta get to the place where you admit that you don’t know what to do next. The next step is to talk to somebody who cares. I believe “all” our life accidents are spiritual problems in need of spiritual solutions. There are no recovery recipes. You know where you are. You know where you want to be. You have no idea how to get from A to B. You find yourself admitting powerlessness and talking to others over and over again until the problem goes away.
In the last 5 years resilience become a daily spiritual practice. It’s the starting point for any life challenge. When Mike gave me that trauma book 5 years ago; I finally understood the rules of the game I’d been playing my whole life. Nothing changed, but everything changed. It was a transformative moment. Now I knew why; finally, I could focus on what and how. I had personal resiliency resources. These were assets. I’d been accumulating and polishing them for 50+ years. I could embrace my mental toughness, look back at how I’d survived and know that I had the right stuff to face whatever life dished in the future. I think that’s agency. I know its personal power. For me now; resiliency is a key component of thriving and authenticity.
I believe capitalism can’t deal with resiliency because our culture is only about constantly expanding material prosperity. To admit that everybody needs to be resilient is to admit that failure, loss and suffering are as much a part of life as success, winning and good health. Prosperity junkies can’t live with that kind of uncertainty: How much is your 5-year plan worth if you’re not in control of your next breath or your next heartbeat?
That’s all I got. Thanks for reading. Look forward to your feedback.
Author: Bill Betzler
